I'm from North Idaho... Dammit.

So these photos may be disturbing to some -- not to me though, because I'm a NORTH IDAHOAN. Dammit. I'm not sure if Danielle is too happy with that distinction, especially since I kind of dragged her into the whole situation shown below. No living things [except maybe trees... and Danielle's sense of peace and wellbeing] were hurt in the process.




We like to call this one "Idaho Gothic." As you can see, we appear to be shooting somewhere in North Korea. Actually it's off Dufort Road, but when a man has guns and cammo -- everywhere is North Korea. [Armaments Note: Danielle is holding a Brazilian-made 4-10 shotgun. I am equipped with a Remington semi-automatic .22 caliber rifle that don't shoot for shit.]




Oh the viciousness... the steely-eyes... the concentration and poise of a leapord ready to cut down its prey. In my case, clay pigeons. Oh they are dastardly bastards. I shot them well. [Foreign Nationality Note: Toward the bottom right corner of this shot you may notice the West German flag. It usually isn't a good idea to tote a gun in public wearing the German flag on your sleeve, but in the woods it's a sign that says "Don't Mess With Me -- I'm Possessed of a Proto-Fascist Worldview that Combines Fierce Libertarianism with Dumb-Headed Romantic Ideals of Power and Will." I've seen it a thousand times. Know the ropes bub before you shoot shit in the woods -- old North Idaho Maxim.]




My compatriot Ben Olson. Not quite so steely as I -- yet still effective. He was the third member in our shooting party. Not so accurate, but deadly with his Rage. [Hillbilly Attire Note: His hat says "Machinery Co." on it. Ha!]




The Bounty. You can't tell, but it's a Marvin Gaye CD. I have no idea why we shot this -- I think it was the only thing in the car that we could shoot [got tired of clay pigeons and damn sure weren't going to shoot each other]. That and I think we had some sort of morbid subliminal urge to say, "Yeah, I shot Marvin Gaye." [Poser Note: Ben drives a Toyota. This is not cool in the backwoods and reveals us for the pansies we are. We shot a CD with the smallest caliber guns known to man and we did it all rodding in a Toyota. The only thing that would have saved us if any real armed woodsmen came along would have been my killer leather gloves and the German flags on my sleeves.]

So yes, there you have it. Danielle, Ben and I were stressed, annoyed, depressed, antsy, you name it. The only solution -- "Let's go shoot stuff!" It was cold and snowing and windy and wet, but we did it and it helped tremendously. Toward the end, you could tell Danielle was getting in to it. There's a pretty maniacal picture of her somewhere but I haven't received it from Ben yet. Once that gets to me, you can be damn sure it's going up. It's terrifying. She's a born killer.

Hoorah for the Second Amendment!
....and....
Shazaam!

The Return Part 3

Okay. This has been traumatic. I'm healing and getting back on the horse. It's time I faced facts and realized that even though my last Triumphant Return was viciously put down by a porno-pop-up-assassin, no amount of bitterness will bring it back. I've accepted this with a little tough love from Mike Peck and now it is now time to get back to work.

So, news.

It seems my last post of any substance (marginal at best) came on March 03 and pertained to my being labeled The Red Threat of Sandpoint yet again. I'm over that now and have also accepted that people will never truly learn the definitions of "Anarchism" and/or "Communism." I am, for the record, neither of these things, though to be true I have self-applied them in the past. I was young. And idealistic. And looking for affirmation through labels -- a weakness I confess, but still less of a youthful indiscretion than, say, a $500 per week cocaine habit.

That being said, if you wait long enough to tell people what's been going on you'll find that you have a lot of news. This is the situation.

We've published three issues since that post -- Vol. 2. Issues 9, 10 and 11. All quite good in my opinion and all were well received.

In Vol. 2 Issue 9 I was forced to finally give birth to the beast of beasts, the article that has been in planning since before this publication even existed, the story of Aspenization. Yes, this monolithic creature was conceived by both Ben Olson and me while distributing Vol. 1 Issue 1 somewhere outside Blanchard, Idaho in the driving snow (okay, so it wasn't "driving" snow, but it was still pretty dramatic). It is the accumulated research of Mr. Olson over the course of three months on the road -- in Wyoming, in Utah, in Colorado and in California. It is the tale of small town adaptation to big town economics -- it is a snap-shot of the American Dream as it descends on America's Premiere Adventure Towns. It has laughs. It has drama. It has killer sex scenes. (Those didn't make it into the print version -- they will however be available on the DVD).

Yes, the Aspenization Article was a monster and Ben was supposed to write it. We'd been waiting and waiting while his stack of research grew taller and taller. Finally, only one day before he left town for another West Coast jaunt, he dumped the whole thing on me. You better believe it -- three months of research on towns I've never been to... a stack SIX INCHES HIGH of real estate brochures, city ordinances and handwritten chicken scratch -- hours of transcribed tape recordings with people either unidentified or so garbled no transcription was possible. It was this that I had to untangle, to form into some coherent Thesis.

I was not happy.

I cursed Ben Olson's name.

I cursed it hard.

Nonetheless, I wrote it and it was a big hit. It is available here -- a blog devoted not to my asinine ramblings (which have utterly NOTHING to do with my work, in case any of you are reading this in an attempt to figure out what exactly the SPR is, this is not the place. This place is my PERSONAL place -- like my digital home. Things I say here are not to be taken as the Official Word of my publication. In fact, I am no longer using my publication's name because I don't want it to come up on a Google search. It would be like coming into my living room at midnight during a drunken party and assuming it was my newsroom. Very different) but to the publication to which I have devoted every damn second of my life for the past fourteen weeks.

Enough said about that the better.

So that story went well and you should read it.

The next issue was a wine-themed issue in which I and several cohorts traveled this fine town sampling the best vintages offered. It was quite entertaining and I feel the issue was very beautiful throughout (Mike Peck -- cover art. The Master).

The most recent issue was themed after all things holistic and/or alternative -- healing, eating, etc. For this particular issue I was forced to "go organic" for two days. This is something that no doubt will bring a smile to many of your faces as my horrific diet is near-legendary. That too is available on the other, OFFICIAL blog.

So enough about the SPR. It isn't entirely my life... right?

Going back a bit, it also looks as though one of my last personally significant posts was regarding the end to a Bohemian Booze Bacchanal. Yes that too ended and I was glad when it did. The past few weeks have been very quiet on the night-life scene and after "going organic" (See: Vol. 2 Issue 11) I've since recognized the merits of a Clean Lifestyle.

Unfortunately for me, Ben Olson is back in town and God knows what may transpire.

On the Eternal Search for Everlasting Fame and Glory Front, much publicity has been coming our way of late.

Last week we were photographed by the Spokane, Wash. daily paper -- an extremely well-circulated and fairly prestigious regional publication -- in conjunction with a story that will appear in the Friday March 25 edition of that paper's Business Section (the reporter came this morning).

That was very interesting -- being interviewed. I don't think that's ever happened to me, though God knows I've been on the other end of the legal pad more than a few times. It's kind of funny to get two "journalists" together because a good bulk of the conversation inevitably goes on "Off the Record." I don't think most people know they can say that to a reporter -- or they forget. Sometimes it's kind of embarrassing what people spill On the Record. It takes a fairly sensitive writer not to put some of that really good stuff in, but always keep in your mind -- you don’t have to tell them your life history. (Unless they ask).

Most recently (on the ESEFG Front) last night I gave a speech on media reform/the state of media in America today -- the text of which is available upon request. It was good fun. Part of a town-wide anti-war rally that occurred over the course of the weekend (marking the second anniversary of the War On Everything), the event was organized by a really great guy who despite being new to town is actually an enhancement to the community. There was a fine selection of organic and vegetarian foods at the pot-luck/dinner speaker event accompanied by some exceptionally talented folk singer/songwriters. Just like the 60s but without hairy armpits and "reefer."

That brings us to today.

Currently the issue is coming together rapidly, I have a bit of a cold (I think) and it's fairly sunny outside. In other words -- all is well.

So in essence, I Have Returned.

Shazaam and all that shiteroo (as they say in Canada).

The Return [Part 2]

Sonofab*tchb*astardmotherf*cking pop-ups!

I had a GIGANTIC post almost done -- it had taken me nearly two hours -- when suddenly out of the murky depths of I-Hell a god-awful "Best Porn News" pop-up rocketed up from the Nether Regions and annhilated the whole thing. It's all gone. I had pictures. I had links. I had pithy repartee. It was a great. Possibly my best post yet. Now it's gone. All f*cking gone because of some nonesense advertising BULLENSHEISSE! Jesus H. I'm going to take a break and then possibly start over. Damnation I hate the Internet sometimes.

Tomorrow

Someday I will blog again. Rest assured. Very busy. Very boring as well (the big problem). Hm. Don't give up on me yet. I shall return!

Return of the Red Threat

That's right, the Red Threat of Sandpoint has returned.

At least according to three fat upper-crust lushes. Not only is this dangerous man a Communist, he's a the owner of a vile "Anarchist flyer that advocates the overthrow of our government."

Oh yes good people. That's right. Watch out.

Those viciously mean-spirited reviews of local restaurants and heinously socialistic articles about local bands will ultimately erode the very fabric of our American Way of Life.

If seen, don't approach him -- he has typically not showered and will give you serious razor-burn.